Category: Writers Block
When I was young,
I thought highly of you,
But I now realize what I felt and thought is far from true.
I thought you were my mother, the one who truly cared,
But I know now that you wanted nothing more than to keep me hurt and scared.
You say you love me,
And that I should know because you were physically there for me all these years.
However, all you’ve done is left me with heartbreak and tears.
You aren’t at all the mother I thought I knew,
And I wish with all my heart that these things weren’t true.
You make me wish I was never born,
But even so, my spirit can’t be torn.
You put on a front to make people think you’re something you’re not,
Never stopping to think you might get caught.
You treat my little brothers differently,
And that’s a pain I wish never was a part of me.
However, I must go on continuing to be a fighter,
Because there’s no doubt my future will be brighter.
I never thought I’d find someone to truly call mom,
But I see now that I was totally wrong.
Aunt she is legally,
But in my eyes, she’s the mom you’ll never be.
I love her with all my heart,
And I know from her love, I’ll never part.
I could say ugly things about you, the woman who gave me life,
But why, when I could use it as a tool to help me do right?
I thank you for making me the person I am,
But say what you will, I don’t give a damn!
I love life, myself, and a man,
And I refuse to let you destroy everything I am.
I can see there is a lot of heart in it. It's got a good strong message, and it is sad how often such situations come about. I like the ending. My only suggestion is, as always with my critique of poetry, to read it to yourself so that you can get its rythm down packed. It's good, but some lines are pretty long. It's usually good to keep in rythm.. Then again, I'm no accomplished poet, so maybe I'm just spouting nonsense. Good job over all. I'm sorry nobody's gotten to giving you any feedback yet.
Guardian.
Hugs,
I Love You.
to put it simply, I like it. it had emotion and feeling. basically, it is not forced or empty like so many people's writing is. I have no one in mind, simply a general consensus.
the message is something which is, verry unfortunately, so true.